Introducing Tez!

In order to bring you more from the land of urban fantasy, I’m launching a new weekly column from an urban fantasy lover from the land Down Under: Tez Miller! Give her a warm, friendly welcome, everyone!

TEZ MILLER: Vital Stats

Lindsay’s great; she updates you with urban fantasy news. I could become the gossip queen, but unfortunately UF authors aren’t debauch enough in front of the camera. Off-camera, however…

But back to basics – here’s a questionnaire:

Name: Tez (may also be known as Eejit).
Decade of origin: 1980s.
Residence: Australia, aka Down Under, aka Hell (depends who you ask).
Nearest city: Melbourne, the same place that brought you Keri Arthur.
Time zone: Think it’s GMT +10. I tend to think of where I live as the present, everything west as the past, and everything east as the future. Why aren’t there more futuristic tales set in NZ?
Pets: A cat. Though not a werecat, Manny has been photographed with cover flats from Rachel Vincent, Jeaniene Frost and Mark Henry. When my camera gets fixed, I’ll photograph more.

Now for generalised opinions:

Vampires: Emo.
Werewolves: Require anger management.
Witches: Need to learn to live without magic.
Ghosts: Hung up.
Zombies: Whipped.
Demons: Bitchy.
Faeries: Vain.
Superheroes: Egotistical.

And digging deeper:

Ideal protag: Goes one-on-one with the antag. Doesn’t rely on magic or supernatural abilities to overcome obstacles.
Genre whore: No; I read UF books but tend to avoid paranormal TV and films.
TV god: Seth MacFarlane. His works don’t count as paranormal per se, but Death is an important character in Family Guy. (Your typical UF reader probably would’ve said Joss Whedon. But I am not typical.)

I leave you with a discussion:

If zombies ate brains and you were a zombie, what kind of brain would you want to eat? Barely used, in overdrive, with a tumour? And what part would you eat? Frontal lobe, occipital, the others? (Sorry, can’t remember enough of twelfth-grade psychology.) Cerebral cortex? Hypothalamus? What benefits could you gain from eating a brain? Anyone in particular whose mind you want to marinate, munch?

Have a lovely day! ๐Ÿ™‚

Tez Miller

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8 comments on “Introducing Tez!

  1. Looking forward to seeing your column here! (Wouldn’t it be cool if Seth MacFarlane and Joss Whedon wrote a cartoon? Comic? Movie! Sah-wheet.)

    If I were a zombie, I’d eat pixie brains. Small, light, crispy–fit well in a stackable tube. Bet you can’t eat just one.

  2. If I were a zombie–and I’m not saying I’m not–I’d be interested in your sweetbreads, Tez. Here’s why: You’re inquisitive, that tells me the neurons are all firing and getting a good workout. Healthy. Succulent with a buttery finish, or at least I suspect they would be.

    Can this be arranged?

  3. Thanks, Dev! (May I call you that? Any problem, please let me know, and I’ll be a good Tezzy.) Enjoy Pixie Brain Pringles ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Ah, I hoped this zombie discussion would strike your attention, Mr Mark ๐Ÿ˜‰ Heavy thinking makes my brain hurt, so chewing my brain might make you feel sick. And although I’m legally an adult, I’m still quite young in the IQ department, which means my brain is equivalent is veal – some people may frown upon you for eating it, but it may be the only way to usurp my youthful innocence (actually, ignorance) ๐Ÿ˜‰ I was hoping for my organs to do be donated to sick people who need them, but I don’t think brain transplants are real. I was going to donate my brain to a medical skill, but you need it more – to eat it, so your first-hand brain-eating experience can enrich your writing ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Thank you, dear Terri…and you’ve so got the kind of name that would be nicknamed Tez in Australia. I shall call you Tez 2, or the Other Tez… or maybe just Clarky ๐Ÿ˜‰ If you object, speak now or forever hold your peace ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Have a lovely day! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Yey! Happy to see you accomplished with an own column. As for zombie question. I would eat everything. It’s that simple, cause I am a zombie and well stomach aches won’t be much of a problem.

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